What FIRE Really Gave Us: A Path to Parenthood

For years, we’ve shared how intentionally we plan our finances. We diagram detailed budgets, downgrade our careers, and build a version of FIRE that gives us freedom, without the need for strict “early retirement”. Our careful planning made us feel like we understood the big decisions ahead in life.

But life changes. And more than change—life sometimes hands you something you never would have predicted. A decade ago, we never would have seen infertility as a possibility in our future. With it, a multiyear, emotional, twisting path followed.

As we navigated treatment from our local doctors to specialists an ocean away—life taught us, yet again, that FIRE isn’t all spreadsheets and net worth milestones. FIRE gives you the freedom to face life’s unexpected turns with your own choices, the time to consider them, and the intention to make them truly yours.

This isn’t just a story about our experience with infertility. It’s lived experience of what financial freedom actually enables when your plans get punched in the mouth.

Choosing Parenthood Post-FI

One frequent critique of FIRE is that it can create a money-focused sort of tunnel vision. Relationships can suffer. Health can take a backseat. Major life milestones can quietly drift further away.

Ironically, as we approached financial independence around the launch of this blog in 2020, we found the opposite happening. We had more time. More space. And more room to think.

More Time, Harder Conversations

Over those pandemic years, we had long, honest conversations about what our relationship could become.

Some were easy and tantalizingly romantic. Others were taxing, surprising, and frankly uncomfortable.

As work diminished, time expanded. And as we’ve rattled on before, extra time can be life changing. We dug into volunteering. We dreamed about creating. About building something meaningful together.

Jenni and I have known each other since we were kids—as in, middle school kids. The idea of having children has certainly come up. But it never felt quite right. Our relationship wasn’t structured in the way that would lead to raising kids in a fruitful manner. We each had health concerns. Our lifestyle didn’t seem compatible with the responsibility.

Family and friends offered plenty of prodding, of course. But external pressure didn’t change our minds.

What changed was us. Our relationship. How we saw each other and how we see our life together.

A Relationship Rebuilt

Through couples therapy—Gottman, Perel—plus lots of homework—we took stock of what our relationship was. And we thought about what it could become.

We spoke to each other more directly. We listened better. We expanded what our partnership could hold and mean.

As part of that, years ago, we began sitting with the idea of having a child. By late 2022, I remember admitting out loud to a friend that kids might be in my future after he prodded me about the topic. For me, this was a pretty big change.

I was never anti-child. I loved being an uncle. I loved playing with friends’ kids. But I didn’t believe we had built a life structured to support one throughout much of our adulthood.

Now, we had.

In 2023, when Jenni’s birth control renewal came up, she chose not to renew it. By August 2023, we were happily engaged. And we were ready.

Infertility: When the Plan Meets Reality

Not long after our engagement, we were actively trying to conceive. In fact, we found success within the first few months!

Your first positive pregnancy test isn’t something you soon forget. I think that applies whether you’re happy, excited, nervous, scared, or completely lost when you see that result.

And while I won’t forget it anytime soon, sadly, that pregnancy wouldn’t continue onto birth. And I’ll say, that’s more heartbreaking than I ever thought it could be.

That’s where things began in our infertility trek. It’s certainly not where it ended, and it’s also not when we began our journey to medical intervention. But, it was the first sign.

Fertility Treatment, Patience, and the Role of FIRE

Between that first test and today, with Jenni passing 28 weeks pregnant, lay years of trials. The time has been filled with dashed hopes and never-ending tests of patience.

Many parents reading this may think, “It’s just the beginning.” They’re probably right. And I hope they are.

Infertility feels like a rollercoaster where you can’t see the next drop. You’re never sure whether relief or heartbreak is around the bend, over the next hill. And for us, there was a lot of heartbreak before the relief.

We pursued fertility treatment both locally and abroad. And this is where our realization of financial independence enabled us to press on. With the flexibility of time, savings, and autonomy, we could explore options without freaking out. We could review all the options. We could be intentional.

We never had to ask each other, “Can we afford this step?” Only, “Is this the right step?”

A New Chapter for TicTocLife

Today, we simply wanted to share this: we’re expecting a new addition to our family in May 2026. Let this rollercoaster be on a smooth ride for those few months that remain.

This next chapter will reshape our version of FIRE. It will reshape our time. Our budget and priorities.

And that’s the whole purpose of FIRE.

Financial independence was never about escaping life. It was about gaining the freedom and flexibility to meet its challenges—especially when it surprises you.

What to Expect Next

This post serves as announcement for our readers and an introduction to our struggles to reach parenthood. We’re working on a follow-up post about our decision making to pursue fertility treatments, our review of options in the USA, and how we arrived at choosing a clinic in Europe.

We’ll break down the financial side of fertility treatments in a follow-up post as well. There’s a lot for our spreadsheet-loving readers there.

Stay tuned. And don’t worry, our monthly budget updates are still on track—we’ll have some new spending categories, too!

Thank you for walking this road with us. We hope our experience feels hopeful and maybe a little revealing as you navigate your own version of financial freedom.

As we haven’t discussed any parenting-related topics in the past, let us know in the comments what you’re interested in reading about in the future!